attention dj's and club/bar owners

**dj phillip esparza** · June 27th, 2002, 04:54 PM

I am a straight dj playing in a well established owned and run gay bar.The reason I spin at a gay is because.The music is always the best at a gay bar.I have only heard from the customers that they love my style of music(classic disco,no cheese).I recently turn in my w-2 form for taxes.And now the word is out that I'm married.To a women no less.Now every bartender and customer keep saying "if your so straight why are you here?".And I have no hang ups with anyone sexual style.This on top of the endless battle of respect(dj vs bartender).When I showed up for my 8 hours shift the bartenders said"oh, so your the help"?I was soooooo pissed.I spend thousands of hours honing my skills over the 1's and 2's and this is the lack of respect I get.See I figured if am good enough spin at a gay bar/club.I'll be respected for my records and skills and not for looking cute in a dj booth,which has run rapid in Hollywood.When I walk the club to check the audio level of floor bartenders barbacks have grabbed me ask "if your so straight why are you hear?"Then attempt to kiss me or go for the jewels.To say the least I'm dissapointed.For a group of people that are almost always wanting to be excepted and respected.I knew going in to this endevour to prepare myself for people assuming that I'm gay.But just because I play great disco doesn't mean I'm gay.Don't just judge a dj by where and what he/she plays.I would like to resolve this major problem without wearing a shirt or announce on the bars p.a. system that the dj is straight.The manager already knows I'm straight and that doesn't work.I have no problems with gay people I was born in a gay community of los angels,(silvelake,ca).This is one of the reasons I became a dj.In the 70s lots of my mom friends were gay and they always brought there disco records to hear at my house while the tucked their dick back to their ass,put lipstick on,etc and went to Studio One,circus Disco,Odyssey and My House.That was fun.I saw all of this all through the 70s.Of course I don't expect anyone at the bar to know this.So what can I do or say.I want say is to say leave me alone.Your barking up the wrong tree and there distracting from my dj duties.
Please help

**NickNack** · June 27th, 2002, 08:54 PM

Sounds like your co-workers are the ones with the problem, not you. I could understand a little teasing. Hell, I'd bust on you if you were straight working a gay club. You'd probably expect that to happen now and then. You make this sound more serious, like, "We don't want you here", or something.

Hell, man, ask them why not? They're up in your face, make them explain what the problem is or get the hell out of your way. I haven't been in the bar/club scene recently and I don't know the age group you're dealing with. When we used to hang out, if he/she could play, everything else was irrelevant. Who gave a ****? It was all about the dance. We just had John Ceglia sharing some of the best damn music and I didn't hear or see any of my "sisters" here complaining about 'the straight boy'.

You shouldn't worry about it. Do your thing. It's not easy to work in an atmosphere where you feel unwelcome but if you want the gig, I'd straighten these guys out. (Pun definitely intended).

Good luck.

**dj phillip esparza** · June 27th, 2002, 09:06 PM

Thanks Nicky,for your words of wisdom.Will do.

**Fantomas** · June 29th, 2002, 10:55 AM

New social order??? haha---that's an understatement. Just don't drop the record on the floor and then bend down to get it.
JUST A JOKE, YOU MILITANTS. DON'T GO AND RIOT NOW BACAUSE OF MY STATEMENT.
Listen guys, I'm not homophobic. What I'm is loose. I enjoy all type of jokes: Sex, Women, Men, Race (White, Yellow, Black), Nationalities, etc.---all jokes.
Have a nice day!!!

[ This Message was edited by: Fantomas on 2002-06-29 12:01 ]

**markydefad** · June 29th, 2002, 02:08 PM

OK, I've got one!!!!!!

How many arrogant,
egotistical,
know-it-all,
white supremicist,
right-wing Republican,
semi-literate
Cuban emigrants
does it take to screw in a light bulb
or taint a website?????

ONE.

YOU, BABY, NOBODY BUT YOU!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong. We loves ta hate ya!!!!

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

**markydefad** · June 29th, 2002, 04:03 PM

Afterthought:

(I'm sure that last post will "disappear" before too long, sooo...)

let me quote Dr. Suess....

"I meant what I said/ and I said what I meant/an elephant's faithful/one hundred per cent".

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ben Dover & Kit Myath

_________________
Make My Feet Wanna Dance!

Markydefad

[ This Message was edited by: markydefad on 2002-06-29 17:15 ]

**nrgbeat** · June 29th, 2002, 04:59 PM

Hey Fantomas, learn this phrase:

If you're straight, YOU'RE BAIT!!!!

To any other breeders(gag, spit, cough) on this board who think they're so special because they're straight, let me tell you something, you're not all that so get over it!!

**markydefad** · June 29th, 2002, 05:50 PM

FYI, The Gold Coast across a side street from Circus of Books on Santa Monica Boulevard just west of Crescent Heights, a number of blocks east of the Mickeys/Rage/Revolver area, is, what is known as an "Alcoholics Bar".

Lotsa folks drinking there from early morning till closing time--and, definitely an "older" crowd.

So, you put 2+2 together and take a guess why there's a whole lotta
inappropriate "unwanted groping" goin' on.

**nrgbeat** · June 29th, 2002, 08:48 PM

On 2002-06-29 18:50, markydefad wrote:
FYI, The Gold Coast across a side street from Circus of Books on Santa Monica Boulevard just west of Crescent Heights, a number of blocks east of the Mickeys/Rage/Revolver area, is, what is known as an "Alcoholics Bar".

Lotsa folks drinking there from early morning till closing time--and, definitely an "older" crowd.

So, you put 2+2 together and take a guess why there's a whole lotta
inappropriate "unwanted groping" goin' on.

Marky, I don't follow this post. What point are you trying to make?

[ This Message was edited by: nrgbeat on 2002-06-29 21:51 ]

**markydefad** · June 29th, 2002, 09:57 PM

nrgbeat,

Are you "baiting" me, too? Hmmm?

I probably should shut up. BUT, having been in my share of gay bars with an older clientele of VERY DRUNK patrons--the chances of getting groped or pawed inappropriately seem higher, than in a bar with a younger, hotter clientele who are too busy groping and pawing themselves to care about the straight DJ.

However, DJ Philip seems to indicate that a large part of the problem comes from his co-workers, in addition to the customers. I don't know the answer. Maybe there is just a natural curiosity as to why a straight DJ is spinning at a gay bar? Maybe they think he's hiding something? Maybe they are badly behaved pigs? Maybe DJ Philip is "too cute" to play at the Gold Coast? Maybe "ALL" or "NONE" of the above.

I AM BEING FACETIOUS. :roll:

**Boodikka** · June 29th, 2002, 10:11 PM

The few time I worked a straight club and I had unwanted attention paid to me from men, I found that the following worked rather well:
"F@#$ you!"
"F@#$ you, I'll F@#$ing stab you!" (Rather good results from this one)

Retorts of that nature are great deflectors of unwanted attention, I daresay.

**Ricardo_Mata** · June 29th, 2002, 10:16 PM

Well... I'm not sure what is going on in here. I don't understand most of the language (slang?)in these messages. I guess it must be some gay thing that I just don't know anything about.

However, I do see something peculiar: I see a straight man who is treated rudely by gays at his place of employment and who is trying to figure out why. I see a couple of people trying to offer their points of view, one as a gay man and one as a straight one. I also see some people with some really twisted, sick minds who evidently have serious personal problems to deal with.

And let me make this clear: I am not homophobic. I am not pro-gay either. I simply respect all of those who earn and deserve my respect. From what I have seen in these and previous messages, Fantomas has earned my respect and my full support. So have some openly gay members of these boards who have expressed their points of view in clear, logical, and reasonable terms. They have made their points without name-calling nor any kind of offenses towards others.

By the same token, some openly gay members have proven that their ideas and the way they express them are worthy of no much more than the nearest trash can. True, so have some straight members. I guess stupidity is universal, unbiased, and willing to affect everybody regardless of gender, religion, or sexual orientation.

**markydefad** · June 29th, 2002, 10:35 PM

Hmmm, the danger I see here is that sometimes facetious, tongue-in-cheek comments DON'T translate well to non-native English speakers.

A lot of this is simply meant to be humorous--snide and bitchy, yes, BUT, HUMOROUS, nonetheless.

BUT, I have seen people misinterpret those comments in the past as being deadly serious.

It's banter, sparring back and forth, sometimes a comment hits a little below the belt BECAUSE sometimes the partner in sparring has sucker-punched us--AND WE HIT BACK A LITTLE HARDER THAN WE REALLY MEANT TO.

It's NOT all that serious. Just a little disagreement.

None of us know what is going on at the Gold Coast between Phillip & his co-workers. I AM almost tempted to drive over there and check the scene out for myself. BUT, NOT TONIGHT--I haven't washed my hair. :lol:

I guess it is imperative to use smiley faces behind most comments, lest they be misinterpreted.

**Outsider** · June 30th, 2002, 01:33 AM

On 2002-06-29 17:59, nrgbeat wrote:
To any other breeders(gag, spit, cough) on this board who think they're so special because they're straight, let me tell you something, you're not all that so get over it!!

I don't think I'm special because I'm straight. Actually, my sexual orientation is irrelevant. The only thing that matters here is that I'm a disco fan.

**JussiK** · June 30th, 2002, 05:01 AM

If they don't like your music they'll get someone else. If they dance to your music the respect is there. Walk like a man!

**nrgbeat** · June 30th, 2002, 05:42 AM

Let me clarify the comments I made.

I don't condone a gay person making unwanted advances to a straight man any more than I would a straight woman making advances on a gay man.

I was ticked off at Fantoma's comment and felt the need to respond. I am not advocating the gay lifestyle to anyone. There are aspects of the gay culture that I even find repulsive.

I do believe there is still a lot of homophobia in our society particularly among the younger generation and that there exists a certain arrogant attitude among some straight men.

How many straight guys would want to be seen hanging around an openly gay man? I think straight guys feel it makes them less masculine if they are friends with a gay man.

Okay I'll get off my soapbox now.

[ This Message was edited by: nrgbeat on 2002-06-30 10:16 ]

**nrgbeat** · June 30th, 2002, 06:16 AM

[quote]
On 2002-06-29 22:57, markydefad wrote:
nrgbeat,

Are you "baiting" me, too? Hmmm?

No, it's just that you started talking about the Gold Coast and I didn't recall that bar being mentioned in a previous post so you kind of lost me.

**Outsider** · June 30th, 2002, 09:14 AM

I just want to say that I have no problem with gay men. As long as they don't have a problem with me being straight, then everything's cool.

**DJ P** · June 30th, 2002, 09:28 AM

As Depeche Mode sang in 1984, 'People are People'. Just like 'cars', all different styles, colours and options. If you don't like a car or it's options, just go and find another one. You don't destroy the one car you don't like, you just go and find another! To quote my old boxing coach, 'Peace or in Pieces'.

**NickNack** · June 30th, 2002, 07:55 PM

On 2002-06-29 23:16, Ricardo_Mata wrote:
And let me make this clear: I am not homophobic. I am not pro-gay either. I simply respect all of those who earn and deserve my respect. From what I have seen in these and previous messages, Fantomas has earned my respect and my full support.

Interesting that you support this person's position when his last two posts (to HustleBaby and then DJ Phillip) were as snide and callous and as 'bitchy' as anything Marky put down.

You left the Forum once because you felt a lot of us needed to clean up our act, as well as our tongues. Many of us took your concern(s) to heart and have seriously toned it down. Fantomas is not one of them. His post DIRECTLY BELOW YOURS to HustleBaby starts out with a four-letter expletive. Everyword after is supposed to be a Happy Birthday wish. Did you read it? Is this what you're supporting? There is no good will in that post. He knows it, we know it and so does HB. She smartly ignored it.

His comment to DJ Phillip about "not bending over" while working the gay club accomplished what he couldn't in HustleBaby's post: He provoked a response. A response which I laud because a response has been long overdue. Fantomas does not, as they say, "walk the talk". His tongue is 'forked' and he talks out the side of his mouth: "I'm not homophobic; I'm not racist; I'm just a jokester." Right, and I'm the Grand Wizard of the KKK. If you feel it's ok for Fantomas to make "jokes" about Blacks, Gays, Women, Sex or whatever else he had in his list, then you damn well know it's ok for Marky to "joke" right back at him. You said you didn't understand a lot of what was being said. Possibly too 'gay' for you. Fantomas is straight --- so I assume you understood what he said. And what he said has, your words, "earned your respect". Let's see if he's man enough to admit he wasn't "joking". You should know who and what you're supporting.

I'll quit now with this: More important to me than obliterating four-letter words from the English language is common decency and respect amongst and between people. A foul mouth is nothing compared to a foul heart. And a blind eye staring at hatred and saying nothing only causes it to root deeper. If, as you say, you can understand and respect and support the things that Fantomas has said in these and previous posts, then I've probably just wasted a lot of time with this one.

MARKY, THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP!

**BrunoRepublic** · June 30th, 2002, 08:07 PM

***applauds***

Well said, Nicky!

**markydefad** · June 30th, 2002, 08:37 PM

Nicky,

Thanks for the support.

I woke up late yesterday and proceeded to read Fantomas's snide birthday greeting to HustleBaby, followed by the sophmoric joke about not bending over to pick up your records in a gay bar--AND I SAW RED!!!!

Bernie has pleaded with us to ignore the baiting nasty comments, rise above it, turn the other cheek, act like adults. Thus far, for the most part, we have.

However, that 1-2 combo irked me soooo much, that I felt a "Bitch Slap" of the first magnitude was deserved.

I admire HustleBaby for handling those snide comments in her birthday "greeting", but I couldn't hold it back any longer. If he wants to dish it out, let him feel it snapped right back at 'em.

Ricardo is not aware of the history of the board. Let's just say, we've been advised to "hold our tongues and make nice" for a long time now. I totally understand why Bernie has pleaded with us to maintain that level of civility with each other. I apologize to Bernie for failing to keep my anger in check, BUT I meant what I said.

Insults lobbed at myself or other members of the board should not be ignored. If we can't point out that someone has just tried to throw **** on us, then we might as well pack it in, roll over and play dead.

Sorry, but I refuse to play that game.

Quoting Paulette Goddard's character in "The Women":

"Where I spit no grass grows--EVER". :lol:

_________________
Make My Feet Wanna Dance!

Markydefad

[ This Message was edited by: markydefad on 2002-06-30 21:40 ]

**Ricardo_Mata** · June 30th, 2002, 09:03 PM

Hi guys! NickNack, sorry I didn't see and I still don't see that post from Fantomas anywhere. I guess it was posted after my message and, obviously, I couldn't read it. I guess it must have been removed because I don't see it!

Just a couple of quick things: I have noticed that a lot of people have toned down their language which I appreciate sincerely. I think it makes these boards much more enjoyable for everybody.

As I said, I agree with Fantomas more often than not but that does not mean I agree with everything he says. I have seen some of his posts and, in some cases, I disagree completely. However, I have had some contact with him through e-mail and through his web site. I have found him to be a person of principles who stands for what he believes in: God, country, family, and moral values. These are the same issues I believe in. I am sure others in these boards --both gay and straight-- believe in those same principles. Unfortunately, as it is often the case, those who do not share those beliefs tend to be much more vocal than those who do.

Is Fantomas perhaps a bit of an extremist in his points of view? Yes, I'll grant you that. But, considering the importance of the issues I think some extreme points of view are in order. When God, country, and family are on the line, very little can be considered extreme in my opinion.

I am a man who tries to learn lessons from his mistakes. I made a minor mistake expressing my opinion about this matter since I know very, very little about issues involving gay behavior.

As we say in Spanish: "El que se acuesta con niños amanece cagado" or "He who takes a baby to bed wakes up covered in poop."

From now on, I'll stick to issues I am familiar with and knowledgeable about. My apologies to all for my stupidity.

Gay or straight, my best to you.

[ This Message was edited by: Ricardo_Mata on 2002-06-30 22:15 ]

**markydefad** · June 30th, 2002, 10:55 PM

Ricardo Mata wrote:
"He who takes a baby to bed winds up covered in poop"

Hmmm...OK, lessee...is that equivalent to "If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas"?????

Duh. Duh? DUH!!!!

I'm scratching my head, trying to figure out.... Oh, never mind. It ain't that important.

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

**Outsider** · June 30th, 2002, 11:20 PM

Marky, I think the best thing is to ignore people who make insulting comments, because by responding to them you're only giving them what they want, which is a reaction. By not reacting, those people may stop since they can't achieve their goal. As you know, I know about this kind of thing all too well.