Worst Seventies Films

**Boodikka** · October 4th, 2001, 11:17 PM

Let the cinematic shame continue! I am amazed at the violent reactions

to my trashing of COFFY. People, I love La Pam as much as anyone, but COFFY was, let's say, an underwhelming effort. And what was the deal with Robert DoQui's pimp clothes? GAAAAAH!

More seventies cinematic dross:

1)"Moment By Moment"...Lily Tomlin and John Travolta have a hot affair...hehehahahaHAHAHA!

2)"Cry Uncle"....a parody of soft-core porn that isn't funny or sexy.

3)"Is There Sex After Death"....One of my high-school teachers actually helped write this, we never let him live it down.

4)"What Do You Say To A Naked Lady?"....this was filmed at my grade-school, I'm including it here because Allen Funt cut me out of the movie! Yes, my friends and I were actually in the film.

5)"Sweet Savior"....this early Troma film was tastelessly inspired by the Tate-LaBianca murders. The one bright spot is the "groovy" score by Jeff Barry, of all people.

6)"The Passenger"....you know, Antonioni really was the master of capturing brilliant camera shots: the problem is when the audience has fallen asleep from the mind-numbing story, they never get to SEE the shots.

**Leanmean** · October 5th, 2001, 02:40 PM

Boodikka, How do you remember the titles, plots and characters so well from all these 1970s movies?!! I was so stoned every time, I can barely (if at all) remember what I saw.

**Boodikka** · October 5th, 2001, 08:50 PM

LOL, Lean! For me, the use of mind-altering things was reserved for clubs (when I was dancing, not spinning....no party favors during work for me). Movies were purely a sober endeavor fo me, largely because Film Theory and Production was my second major, and I had to see a lot of films, good, bad and ugly.....I can still remember the deafening silence after an in-class screening of "Beyond The Valley Of Dolls"!

More cinematic atrocities (I can't get 'em out of my head, Lean):

1)"Nocturna"... I've mentioned it here before: as a film, Nocturna is a great soundtrack! Irene Cara is one of the BU singers on the soundtrack, too bad they couldn't get her to star in the film as well, instead of the narcoleptic Nai Bonet.

2)"Wanda Nevada"....Peter Fonda and a prepubescent Brooke Shields. Why, God, why?

3)"Tilt"....Brooke Shields AGAIN! Why, God, what have we done?

4)"Darling Lili"....it appears that someone kept forgetting to give Rock Hudson his wake-up call for the entire shoot. Oh yes, in this dreary musical he and Julia Andrews have a steamy affair....hahahaheheheHAHAHAHA!

**BrunoRepublic** · October 5th, 2001, 09:12 PM

1)"Nocturna"... I've mentioned it here before: as a film, Nocturna is a great soundtrack! Irene Cara is one of the BU singers on the soundtrack, too bad they couldn't get her to star in the film as well, instead of the narcoleptic Nai Bonet.

I'd still be curious to see this, even if just for the camp value. I love the soundtrack though. I've finally got past side 1 and discovered the rest of the album, which is also great. "Nighttime Fantasy" is my favourite Vicki Sue Robinson track (I never liked "Turn The Beat Around"...). Incidentally, this is one of those few songs where the album version is superior to the 12" mix IMO.

**Boodikka** · October 5th, 2001, 10:10 PM

Graham, NOCTURNA really is a lost "gem" (more like a cubic zirconia). The last time i saw it was on the old Escapade pay-cable network in 1981! Escapade was a pay-cable network dedicated to "drive-in" and little-seen exploitation films. It went defunct and metamorphosed into the Playboy Channel.

NOCTURNA had a great deal of scandal behind the scenes, if I'm not mistaken one of the producers (Nai Bonet's boyfriend) ended up murdered.....and not by the critics, unfortunately.

**paul** · October 6th, 2001, 12:24 AM

On 2001-10-05 15:40, Leanmean wrote:

Boodikka, How do you remember the titles, plots and characters so well from all these 1970s movies?!! I was so stoned every time, I can barely (if at all) remember what I saw.

So I wasn't the only one doing mind altering substances

**Anonymous** · October 7th, 2001, 05:36 AM

DARLING LILI...jesus! I've never seen that on tape nor do I think there's a dvd realese coming up soon! Why is it, though, that I for one secretly long for that kind of hopeless crap that we all originally really hated as a collective force? Think of Lily 's and John's incredibly boring Moment, I'd surely gawk at it should it pop up on tv. I'd even risk stares and rent it on tape. I'm sure it would prove to be more enjoyable than most recent dregs such as the appalling A.I. On the whole films simply WERE better during the 70's, and I don't think I'm a saddo in a grip of acute nostalgia. When was it last that we were treated to some real controversy a la THE DEVILS by Ken Russell or a THE STRAW DOGS or a CLOCKWORK ORANGE?

**Anonymous** · October 7th, 2001, 05:38 AM

Cont. here for one more thing: Are any of you aware of any Ken Russell dvds? All I have are TOMMY and ALTERED STATES.

jussi

**Fantomas** · October 9th, 2001, 02:10 PM

Definetely the worst movies were those Chinese Kung Fu movies with those ridiculous flying kicks, flying thru the air, and the out of sync dubbing. Can't get worse than this.

**JussiK** · October 10th, 2001, 01:15 AM

Fantomas...somehow I'd still watch kung fu with no strings attached. What I mean is real acrobatics a la Jet Li in the recent and wonderful KISS OF THE DRAGON. In this no wires were employed, unlike in THE MATRIX or in CHARLIE'S ANGELS. Good as matrix is as a movie give me old skool kung fu over those anytime, with funky riffs on the soundtrack and turn the volume up for the sound effects during SEVEN BLOWS OF THE DRAGON!

**Boodikka** · October 11th, 2001, 12:58 PM

I have a soft spot for seventies martial arts films....I spent way too much time watching them during the 73-75 craze.

Jussi, you mentioned one of my faves, SEVEN BLOWS OF THE DRAGON. Love it, as well as the sequel SEVEN SOLDIERS OF KUNG FU, in which all the characters are killed. My favorite character was the blowhard Black Whirlwind, played by Mei Sheng Fan. Most people may know Mei Sheng Fan from his appearance in Michael Cimino's YEAR OF THE DRAGON, in which he appears as the ill-fated White Powder Ma, who is beheaded by John Lone's character in the film.

Other 70s martial-arts faves:

1)Enter The Dragon....of course

2)Challenge of the Ninja....one of the few martial arts films from the period which actually deal with honor, not killing or revenge

3)Chinese Connection.....Bruce Lee's anti-Japanese epic

4)Hammer of God.....more Japan-bashing

5)Sacred Knives Of Venegance....STILL MORE Japan-Bashing!!!

6)Duel Of The Iron Fist...this knife-fighting film was a precursor to the Hong Kong gangster films of the 90s, John Woo was a production assistant!

**paul** · October 12th, 2001, 12:39 AM

Since were talking kung fu, can't forget Billy Jack and the song One Tin Soldier.

**JussiK** · October 12th, 2001, 01:00 AM

On 2001-10-11 13:58, Boodikka wrote:

Mei Sheng Fan. Most people may know Mei Sheng Fan from his appearance in Michael Cimino's YEAR OF THE DRAGON, in which he appears as the ill-fated White Powder Ma, who is beheaded by John Lone's character in the film.

---

6)Duel Of The Iron Fist...this knife-fighting film was a precursor to the Hong Kong gangster films of the 90s, John Woo was a production assistant!

Boodikka -

Mei Sheng Fan in THE YEAR OF THE DRAGON?! I'll go and rent it tonight. I've never seen DUEL OF THE IRON FIST but the John Woo connection alone of course makes it a must-see. Genre magazines have raved about it and I think it's mentioned in Verna Glaessner's book KUNG FU - THE CINEMA OF VENGEANCE. Happily the Hong Kong companies are putting out 70's martial arts epics on dvd now and not just those getting-to-be-a-bit-boring CYBERCOP 2000-type Matrix clones they mostly churn out these days. The trailer of Jet Li's brand new THE ONE looks promising, though obviously the film is not going to reach the hairraising heights of THE KISS OF THE DRAGON.

SACRED KNIVES..a wonderful film. Have you seen THE BEACH OF THE WAR GODS with it's spectacular 20-minute final battle sequence? Like SEVEN BLOWS and many others BEACH..too has a color palette rich with pastel greens, blues and pinks - don't you just love the look of these films?

**BrunoRepublic** · October 22nd, 2001, 08:07 AM

This past weekend, I finally saw a film that I'd been wanting to watch for quite a while, as the soundtrack is one of my fave albums. The film was... Mahogany. I'd heard that it was critically panned, but commercially successful, so I was even more curious.

GACK!! It's *dreadful*. Terrible dialogue, two-dimensional characters, a ridiculous premise and conclusion... the whole purpose of the film seemed to be to give Miss Ross and excuse to model some of the tackiest outfits I've ever seen.

**markydefad** · October 22nd, 2001, 12:01 PM

Yeah, Graham, you're right, but you failed to mention those tacky costumes were designed by none other than MISS ROSS herself. She was in a "japanese phase" at the time.

My favorite scene is when psycho Tony Perkins is hell-bent on crashing the car and Ross pulls the ends of her hair out with her hands and screams, "Take the picture, Sean!! Take the picture!!!" Almost as memorable as Bette Davis spewing "But 'cha are in the wheelchair Blanche. BUT 'CHA ARE!!!!"

Another favorite line was to Billy Dee Williams through that bullhorn..."I'm a widow from the South side, my ole man left me, and the kids got a flu." We like to quote that one a lot.

**HustleBaby** · October 22nd, 2001, 04:46 PM

I can't think of any bad 70's movies at the moment but I have some favorites:

1.All kung-fu flicks from the 70's (Bruce Lee, Sonny Chiba, Angela Mao and others.)Those Ocean Shore karate movies are CLASSICS!

2.Mahogany - I'm a Diana Ross fan and I found

the movie & cinematography pleasurable!

3.The French Connection

4.Lookin' For Mr.Goodbar

5.Mean Streets/Taxi Driver

6.All Pam Grier flicks - Foxy Brown,Coffee,

Friday Foster etc..

7.Cleopatra Jones

8.Superfly

9.The Godfather 1 & 2

10.The Warriors

11.Shaft

12.The Pink Panther

13.James Bond - Live & Let Die etc..

14.Saturday Night Fever

Disco Delight

**dj phillip esparza** · October 23rd, 2001, 09:45 PM

"Skateboard" with Lief Garret.I was about seven when I first saw it in the theater.I was young, and into skateboards so I loved it,then.Last year I ran into it again at the video store.It had been about twenty three years since I had last saw it.I couldn't believe how low budget this puppy was.Bad,bad,bad.Ironic though,about six months ago ended up spinning at Club Peanuts in Hollywood where Lief was hosting a disco party.He was cool and signed my 12"I was made for dancin"

**funkg** · January 4th, 2002, 02:03 AM

in england in the 70s we had these confessions of.. type films which were similar to the carry on films, but more soft porn they mostly starred a guy called robin ashworth, who we don't see anymore on tv. i remember there were a confessions of a window cleaner, plumber, milkman etc. they are still repeated occasionally on channel 5 which has a reputation for showing soft porn.

a film i do like though is come play with me with mary millington, this was another carry on type film with arther askey, very funny.

**EduardoFojo** · January 22nd, 2002, 06:39 PM

A couple of Bad Seventies Films:

"The Concorde: Airport '79": What a godawful film that was! Horrible special effects (check out the die-cast Matchbox Concorde plummeting through dry-ice clouds), terrible dialogue (a favorite of my brother and I: Robert Wagner's "Sweet sweet Maggie" to girlfriend/intended victim, not to mention the "saucy" exchange between Sylvia Kristel and George Kennedy about pilots being "such men!" - did anyone notice how Joe Patrone gradually got promoted up the ladder with each successive film in the series?), embarrassing 'celebrity' cameos (poor Martha Raye - first Benita Bizarre, then this!) - NOTHING about this film works! I remember going to see this film with some friends and laughing all the way through. We ended up nicknaming poor Martha Raye's character Bathroom Woman due to her propensity for running to the loo with each lurch of the plane, while one member of the audience provided additional unintentional hilarity by burping througout the screening! Were we watching, say, "Manhattan" or "Superman" it would have been intrusive, but strangely in "C-A79" it fit right in!

"The Swarm": I've never been an Irwin Allen basher - as a child I enjoyed "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" (film and tv series), "Lost in Space" and "Land of the Giants", and found "The Towering Inferno" and "The Poseidon Adventure" melodramatic but entertaining. Alas, "The Swarm" sucked! It's one of those films where you really feel sorry for everyone involved who have to live it down, though it doesn't seem to have harmed Richard Chamberlain, Michael Caine or Katharine Ross's careers too much. When I was younger I was petrified of bees and wasps, and worried about the media reports of the gradual encroachment of killer bees as they made their way northward from Brazil.

Going to see the movie was a weird sort of reverse psychology/face-your-fears exercise for me, but the film was so ludicrous (the swarm victims' bee hallucinations, the 'horrifying' nuclear explosion caused by the swarm invading a power plant and causing the panicked staff to hit the wrong buttons - strangely, the bees managed to escape a nuclear explosion, but in a world where George Kennedy can stick his head out of Concorde and fire a gun at an attacking jet while travelling faster than the speed of sound, anythings possible) that I wondered why I thought this would be a confrontation with something personally scary, when the most frightening thing about the film was the jaw-droppingly bad moviemaking on display.