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March 25th, 2003, 09:05 PM
#1
JUST FOR LAUGHS!
Just wanted to share a joke. In this day and age we all need a good laugh.
Peace.
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at
the Gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter came by and the woman said to him,
"This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked. "Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter
welcomed her into Heaven. About 6 months later,
Saint Peter asked the woman to watch the Gates
of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was
guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm so happy to see you," the woman said. "How
have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died,"
her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young
nurse who took care of you while you were ill, then
I won the lottery, sold the little house where we
lived and bought a big mansion on the mountain with
a panoramic view of the entire river valley.
My new wife and I traveled all around the world and
were on vacation when I went water skiing today.
I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am.
So, how do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
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March 26th, 2003, 06:54 AM
#2
Heh! Heh! Very funny! So that's why they changed it to the Czech Republic!! :lol:
Here's another one along the same lines. As an Accountant I always refer this joke to lawyers/attorneys but it can apply to whichever profession you like! If any of you are attorneys, no offence meant !! :lol:
The queue at the Gates Of Heaven was particularly long at this time. A weeks' wait at least. And then there was yet another arrival at the end of the queue.
The new arrival had to go throught the usual initial screening process.
Name? John Jackson
Profession: Attorney
The angel said: Excuse me - did you say Attorney?? Would you like to come this way, Sir?
And with that the Angel led the attorney past the throngs of people waiting - right up to the front of the queue! As you can imagine there were a lot of complaints about this ...
The guy at the front of the queue was especially incensed. "It's really not fair! I've had to wait over a week to get to the front of the queue, and just as it's my turn, the guy pushes in front!! Why is he allowed to do it?"...
"W-e-e-e-l-l-l-l," said the Angel, " it is because this guy is really special! He is an attorney by profession, and that is the first attorney that we have ever had at the Gates of Heaven!!"
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March 26th, 2003, 08:55 PM
#3
:lol: Hey jazz_pilgrim, That was good, wonder where the
other attorneys go??? :lol: :lol: :o
sorry... he he he.
Here's another one for ya..
This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on
a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night
passed slowly and no cars went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet
ahead of him.
Suddenly he saw a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out
of the gloom. It slowly crept toward him and stopped.
Reflexively, the guy got into the car and closed
the door, then realized that there was nobody behind
the wheel.
The car slowly started moving again. The guy was terrified,
too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy
saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve.
The guy started to pray, begging for his life; he was
sure the ghost car would go off the road and he would plunge
to his death, when just before the curve, a hand appeared
thru the window and turned the steering wheel, guiding
the car safely around the bend.
Paralyzed with terror, the guy watched the hand reappear
every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy
gathered his wits and leaped from the car and ran to the
nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and
voice quavering, ordered two shots of tequila, and told
everybody about his horrible, supernatural experience.
A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy
was apparently sane and not drunk.
About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar.
One says to the other, "Look Bubba, that's da dadburn
sorry man that rode in our car when we was pushin it
in the rain."
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