BREAKING NEWS: Belgium Hasn't Split!

[Videoskooter]

There's a little riot in our country this evening! Walloon Tele has aired a fake live broadcast (Orson Welles-style) where they announced that we Flanders have split up and declared ourselves as independent. The King supposedly had left the country!

While Le Monde and CNBC are taking this news for real, I can state that it's a hoax!

The Prime Minister is furious about this broadcast (by a national televisionstation) and will take measures! The Walloon Minister-President has also expressed his anger about this! Thousands of worried people are crashing the governemental callcenters to ask details!

It's true that Flanders and Wallonia are gearing up for a major battle but this hasn't happened yet, as we write!



HLN.be: belgie - Nepuitzending RTBF: "Vlaanderen roept onafhankelijkheid uit" (324838)

[Boodikka]

Video, thank you! Now I will be able to sleep at night!

P.S. Don't mess with those Walloons...they are the gangsta thugz of the EU 'hood!

[dfc99bb]

Did the 'fake' broadcast identify itself as such and people just weren't paying attention? Don't worry about CNBC, nobody watches it in the US anyway. You have to admit it's funny that all these so-called professional news organizations couldn't pick up the f*cking telephone and call their contacts in Belgium to confirm/deny the story.

BTW, can Flanders and Wallonia separate themselves under Belgian law? Your country is a mystery to Americans. The media here gives a lot of coverage to Britain and France, but rarely the rest of Europe. Who gets Belgium's nukes if the country splits up?

[Videoskooter]

No, the normal programs on Walloon Tele RTBF were interrupted for a special Breaking News, it was presented by the usual newsanchor and from the regular studio. In no way they mentioned that it was a hoax. It was after some time that the Minister of Media, who was getting calls from people in panic, gave the order to put the text "This is fiction" on the screen.

Flemish radio or television didn't participate so if the Walloons had made the trouble of switching to our channels they would have discovered the joke.

Yes, we can split up legally but we have the "Brussels" problem, which is also a region with it's own government. And things are indeed heating up. There could be a split next spring after the general elections where the Flemish will demand more independance and if the Walloons don't agree, Belgium can cease to exist!

Belgium: national government, consisting of Flemish and Walloons + 4 regions:
-Flanders: Parliament with a Minister-President: Yves Leterme
-Wallonia: Parliament with a Minister-President: Elio Di Rupo
-Brussels: Parliament with a Minister-President: Charles Picquet
-German Community: Parliament with a Minister-President

No wonder nobody can follow our politics, even we can't! I really can't say how many ministers we have but it's ridiculous for such a small country (10 million people)

Officially we don't have American nukes and we never had 'em! Understood!

(unofficially, everybody knows that they are at the American Base of Kleine Brogel in Flanders! Heavily guarded and ready to use if NATO or the US wishes to)

[Nano]

Aha! Now I understand why Ned was the only one in The Simpsons with an atomic refuge at home

[Videoskooter]

Yes, the Simpsons in the Belgian national colours!

OMG, even Time talks about ze Belgianos!

TIME.com: Belgium's "War of the Worlds" -- Page 1

This is the infamous broadcast:

[Nano]

Wow! I thought I wouldn't understand a word, but thank God it's subtitled!

[Videoskooter]

Nano, you don't understand Flemish????

Then it's time to learn it with this Belgian Police instruction video!

I'm counting on you!

[Nano]

Ha ha, that was fun! Specially the changes they did in the lyrics.

"Fándarrrrásssman!"

[Videoskooter]

Originally Posted by Nano

"Fándarrrrásssman!"

Is that how you understand the title????

They actually sing: "Baai De Raaikswacht" Which means: In the Policeforce. It's by a famous Flemish group De Strangers who make covers from big hits and translate them into the Antwerp dialect, it's a slang that's spoken in the part of Flanders where I also live!

So if I wanna say: "Paul, you hot machine, show the babes what you got", it'll become: "Polleke, gaai hièt masjien, loat de waaive is iets zien!"

Nano, Flemish is not that difficult, Bernie has learned it in 1 week!



Much obliged (Geire gedoan joeng)

[Bernie]

Originally Posted by Videoskooter

Nano, Flemish is not that difficult, Bernie has learned it in 1 week!

If it's to learn how to order Belgian beer then I'm all there!

[Videoskooter]

Bernie, in Antwerp they drink Palm! Cheers! But if you ever get there, don't order a Palm, they will laugh their a**** off! Order a "Bolleke"!

[Nano]

Don't worry Johan, "fándarrrrrásssman!" means just that, only that I wrote it in Spanish phonetics ;)

It's funny, these days I have to use a web translator for some text in "neerlandish" (yes, I know it's the language of your hated country neighbors) and the first one I used produced something so confusing even Borat wouldn't understand it And last night I watched the HOSTEL movie, which happens to begin in Amsterdam. My Benelux connection is fully developing

[Videoskooter]

Nano, Neerlandish and Flemish are actually the same language you know. It's only when we speak dialect that we sometimes have trouble to understand each other. BTW, it's the official language in Flanders, Holland and Suriname.

The funny thing is that we can understand somebody from South Africa very well but they can't understand us. It's funny as they also speak a form of Neerlandish!

BTW, if you need a translation of something, just PM me (I just hope it's not a novel )

[Nano]

Thanks for the information and for your offer. The thing I'm "reading" is the official site of the Rotterdam Film Festival, due in January. It seems the English part of the site falls several days behind in terms of announcements. I guess they're having reversal translation problems