Liza's March 16 wedding...

[Jeff H]

Just thought I'd open the floor to comments on Liza Minnelli's wedding/circus yesterday. Take it away, Marky...!



Btw: My favorite comment (so far) is that Miss Whitney canceled because she was "recording in Florida." Her substitute was Natalie Cole, another black diva whose drug problem at least is acknowledged....

[markydefad]

Well, Jeffy, I'm GLAD YOU ASKED...cause, of course, it is the topic du jour...



Now, I suppose all you New Yorkers have more scoops cause I would imagine the NYC papers are full of gossip regarding Liza's marriage to the Creepy Gest Guy. I can't wait until the tabloids hit the newsstands with photos of the event, which I heard Liza sold for big bucks.



Last week in Army Archerd's column in Daily Variety....Army commented that Esther Williams, who had been asked to be a bridesmaid at Liza's wedding, inquired at the bridal shower "What will we (the bridesmaids) be wearing--pink or--?" "Basic black" was the response. Williams wondered, "Is this a wedding or a funeral?" Well, Williams decided, after some thought, NOT to attend the wedding.



Meanwhile, in NYC last Wednesday, songwriter Denise Rich (remember the Clinton pardon for her enormously wealthy ex) threw Liza a bridal shower (although some say she hardly knows her) with expected guests to include DIVAS Diana Ross, Patti LaBelle, Natalie Cole, and Donna Summer... wish I coulda been there!!!!



This am, Howard Stern was dishing that Liz Taylor, Liza's maid of Honor(?) or was it Miss Jackson, I'f You're Nasty---anyway Liz demanded to be PAID to attend the wedding!!!

La Liz asked to flown on a private jet with her entourage and given a per diem (spending money for her NY expenses)!!!!! SOME FRIEND!!! Also, Howard says she left the reception like after half-an-hour!!!!



Apparently, Cindy Adams, NY gossip maven, was also a bridesmaid, but chose to dish the whole affair in her column today!!! Another great pal!



And, apparently, a whole shitload of old Hollywood actresses were imported from Beverly Hills to NY to attend. This is reminiscent of Miss Jackson's importation of the likes of Janet Leigh & Ann Miller to his concert in September. Remember, his 50 Leading Ladies???



Oh, and I guess Miss Ross & Miss Jackson arrived in a limo together and the queens who were celebrity watching went into DIVA HEAVEN OVERDRIVE!!!! Howard cattily remarked that Diana still seems to think she's skinny and seems not to notice that her gut is protruding through her ultra tight get-ups!!! OUCH!!! I never thought I'd live to see the day when Miss Ross was dissed for putting on a few pounds!!! (I think Howard was referring to those photos of Miss Ross poured into the purple Bob Mackie gown at Mackie's tribute last fall--she did look a little embarassing).



Well, that's the gist of what I heard. Oh, and that Liza's hubby told her NOT to wear her planned headdress cause it was clashing with her diamonds!!!! Howard said "Oh, here we go again...another queen weds into the Garland/Minnelli family!"



Sad, but...probably true. And remember..as I reported earlier....they'd like to adopt!!! Paging Rosie!!!!



_________________

Make My Feet Wanna Dance!

Markydefad

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markydefad on 2002-03-18 16:03 ]</font>

[markydefad]

A VERY SPECIAL WEDDING LOVE BOAT:



Ah, the Liza Wedding jokes just keep on comin', love.



Letterman cracked--"the guest list included Donny Osmond, David Hasselhoff, Joan Collins, and Robert Goulet--this is not a wedding--it's an episode of "The Love Boat"!



Dave hit the nail on the head--a hybrid "Love Boat" crossed with one of those "Night Of 100 Delusional, Washed-up Second Rate Stars". Hubby David Gest (resembling a Cigar Store Indian--oh, excuuuuse me, "Racist Bastard" strikes again--Native American--or is it a totem pole?--seems to envision himself as the second coming of the late, caftan-clad, taste-deficient producer/promoter Allan Carr, crossed with TVQ-savvy schlockmeister Aaron Spelling.



NAMES, DAHLING,...NAMES!



In addition to the aforementioned celebs, I've unearthed the following "names" as wedding guests--Mickey Rooney, Hugh O'Brian, Gina Lollobrigida, Joe Garagiola, Robert Wagner, and TITO Jackson!



With the exception of Anthony Hopkins and maybe, Michael Douglas--the wedding guests were definitely on the down-side of their careers. The whole affair seems to reek of a P.R. stunt (like the MJ concert tribute to himself last Sept.) At least, Mama Judy--by the time of marriage #4 was into "eloping" with her gayboy husbands. Liza seems to want to rival Princess Diana's wedding in terms of grandiosity!



Oh, among the performers at the reception, according to Paul Shaffer--Ed Ames, Ray Conniff (maybe that was a joke?), Little Anthony & The Imperials, The 5th Dimension, Petula Clark, Donny Osmond, and of course, Natalie Cole, filling in for the M.I.A. Whitney Houston.



In addition to Whitney, also missing were two bridesmaids, Esther Williams (as I wrote yesterday) and Claudia Cardinale. Bridesmaids, dressed in BLACK gowns of their own choosing included Mia Farrow, Cynthia McFadden, and Marisa Berenson.



Craig Kilborn: "I was so embarrassed...the groom and I were both wearing the same... terrified expression" (rimshot)

"Mickey Rooney caught Michael Jackson's Nose" (Ba-da-bum).



Can't wait for the TABLOID PHOTOS...I'll keep ya informed.



_________________

Make My Feet Wanna Dance!

Markydefad

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markydefad on 2002-03-19 16:39 ]</font>

[markydefad]

Oh, and this just in....



Elton John, performing before a crowd last night, responded to the question--"What would you give Liza as a wedding gift?"



His retort: "A heterosexual husband"



He oughta know.

[keefelc]

On 2002-03-19 14:03, markydefad wrote:



Can't wait for the TABLOID PHOTOS...I'll keep ya informed.

Mark, did you see the photo in USA Today yesterday? She actually looked good, but of course anybody could look good under the thick layer of makeup she was obviously wearing!



As I read the article while commuting home on BART, all I could do was think about your earlier posting and laugh! I'm sure some people thought I was as looney as Liza! As for Liz, how does one leave the house for a major party with bedroom slippers on? Doesn't she have a keeper?

[markydefad]

Liza's half-sister, Lorna Luft did NOT attend the big wedding and has refused to make any statement on the subject. She's been amusing herself answering her phone and pretending to be the Mexican maid: "Meeze Looorrrna no home"....!!!!

[markydefad]

David Letterman's TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD AT LIZA MINNELLI'S WEDDING:



10) "Hey Hasselhoff, go easy on the crab puffs"

9) "I asked Diana Ross to pass the butter and she slapped me"

"What exactly is Liza famous for anyway?"

7) "This is so much fun. She should get married more often"

6) "Michael Douglas? Oh, I thought you were Mickey Rooney"

5) "Phyllis Diller looks so lifelike"

4) "What do you mean you're out of prime rib? I'm Robert Goulet, damn it!"

3) "I did check again, Mr. Letterman. Your name is not on the guest list"

2) "Hi Liza. I'm Bill Clinton. Could we get together, later?"

1) "No, Miss Taylor. You're not getting married today"



_________________

Make My Feet Wanna Dance!

Markydefad

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markydefad on 2002-03-20 15:46 ]</font>

[markydefad]

People Magazine has a great spread on the Liza wedding extravaganza. Of interest to the board is that Freda Payne was a bridesmaid (The Enquirer said she was Chaka Khan!!!). Also, new R&B diva Mya (what the hell does SHE have to do with Liza????) was another bridesmaid in black.



Joan Rivers:



"Never marry a man who knows more showtunes than you do"



"Liza & David are planning on adopting... Esther Williams & Ann Miller, who are both in diapers again"



"Liza is honeymooning in Greece...her hubby's destination is unknown" (maybe he's going over to Ian McKellan's house).