Celebrity Gossip

[paul]

Hey Markey, you racist bastard. It's not American Indian, it's Native American. It's not Black, it's African-American, not towel head, it's Arab, not Heeb, it's Jew.



I'm sure you know I'm just having fun with you.

[markydefad]

"What's the buzz?/tell me what's-a-happening"



Well, my news items are kinda stale, week old, tinged with mold & smelling of mildew-- cause they have been erased twice after I submitted them, but I will try again. "I Will Nevah Forget It!"



File under "Am I White Enuf?":



My half-black friend Miss Livvy says that one of the Destiny's Child girls (the lighter skinned one other than Miss Beyonce) is forced to go to tanning salons to be darker-skinned-- so that Miss Beyonce Knowles (the Miss Ross of the group) will be the lightest/whitest looking of the trio. The girls are managed by Miss Beyonce's father and their grooming and wardrobe is by Beyonce's mama--so what THEY say goes. Apparently , earlier girls in the group were fired cause they tried to get rid of Papa Knowles (shades of Joe Jackson & Berry Gordy). Also, the other two girls have distinctive names (Livvy jokingly said one is "Caliqua" and the other is "Souffle") but Papa forces them to be known as Kelly (a middle name) & Michelle, so that "Beyonce" will have the distinctive, orignal, memorable name. This dirt was supposedly told to Jules Asner on E! who's eyebrows shot to the ceiling when the tanning requirement was mentioned.



This tale reminds me of when Lucy required Vivian Vance (Ethel Mertz) to always remain 15-20 pounds overweight in her contract, so Lucy would, obviously, be the prettiest one--even though Vivian was younger than Lucy! It's also reminiscent of the way Berry Gordy promoted Miss Ross for future stardom over her fellow Supremes. Flo's weight gain obviously helped to distinguish her from Miss Ross, only that damn Mary had the audacity to remain slim--no wonder Motown hates her and treats her like their redheaded bastard stepchild.



In the "Am I Black Enuf For Y'all?" Dept.: Howard Stern was yakking about how Alicia Keys was talking like a "whitegirl" when she chatted with nasty ole Joan Rivers on the Grammy Red Carpet, but became all "homegirl" when she hit the awards show. Alicia attended the Grammys with her white mother (shades of Halle Berry), but seemed to feel compelled to ghetto girl her speech at the awards to blend in with the hip-hop crowd. What's a mixed race girl to do in today's mandatory street-cred music market?



Hmmm...I'm just askin'

[markydefad]

Cher visited Dave Letterman last week and Dave introduced her as "the one...the only...national treasure--CHER!"



Cher appeared from the wings, in her newly BLONDE look and sang "Song For The Lonely" live (a rarity these days). After she finished, Dave came over and kissed her and said, "Look everybody, it's my date--CHER!"



After the commercial break, Dave marvelled at how "fantastic" she looked and asked about her new hair color. Cher told him "Dave, it's a wig". She said she has lots of wigs and this particular wig's name is "Meg". Dave asked her if she and Meg would be having dinner after the show.



Later, they reminisced about Cher's first appearance with Dave, when he asked her why she'd never appeared before, and she snapped "Because I thought you were an asshole". Dave referred to this as "unpleasantness" and Cher said it was "hilarious".



The wig story reminds me of Bette Midler's cracks after Cher did that infamous infomercial for hair-care products. Bette snapped, "The bitch was wearing a wig! She ALWAYS wears wigs!"

[markydefad]

Dame Liz Taylor celebrated her 70th birthday last week and, rumor has it she and her best friend Miss Jackson,(If You're Nasty) spent the day trying on their bridesmaid dresses for Liza's wedding and getting made over by Jose Eber. Jose was a teasin' and a combin' all day. Speaking of Miss Liza with a "Z", her creepy, CREEPY looking fiance, Miss Jackson's best friend, David Gest, reminds me of Gene Simmons of Kiss meets Richard Simmons of Flab. Scary kisses, indeed. And to top that off, Liza told ET in her formerly charming, now annoying, little catch-in- her voice hiccup, "We want to adopt". I'm hopin she was talking about animals. Be afraid...be Very AFRAID!

[paul]

I didn't know Mrs Babba Loo had Vivian's contract written to keep her overweight or lose her job. Interesting.

Marky, any dirt on Lana Turner or Patricia Owens(wife of the original "The Fly")?

[paul]

By the way. Most of you have probably seen the animated sketch, The Ambiguosly Gay Duo on Saturday Night Live from several years ago. Are they still making them and any background info on the guys/gals who did them?

[Boodikka]

That entire Tommy Mottola/Mariah Carey/Luis Miguel/Thalia travesty appears to be a business arrangment concieved by the former street punk Mottola. Carey remains a self-parody, however. Miguel remains one step ahead of the gay rumors (at least he's not coming off like Juan "Juanita" Gabriel), while Thalia appears to have parlayed her "marriage" to Mottola into that inane Dr. Pepper ad. One more thing: how was the multi-divorced Mottola able to be married in a Catholic Church.....again?

[Jeff H]

how Alicia Keys was talking like a "whitegirl" when she chatted with nasty ole Joan Rivers on the Grammy Red Carpet, but became all "homegirl" when she hit the awards show. Alicia attended the Grammys with her white mother (shades of Halle Berry), but seemed to feel compelled to ghetto girl her speech at the awards to blend in with the hip-hop crowd.

I received word this week that Miss Keys recently refused to enter an Atlanta nightclub where she was scheduled to perform because, she was quoted as saying, "there were too many women dancing together" and she "couldn't be associated with that kind of image." You can read the full story at http://www.sovo.com.



I want to give her the benefit of the doubt; maybe she's not homophobic at all and it was just a foolish remark by someone too young to know how to use discretion.



In any case, I can't help feeling we're looking at Lauryn Hill 2002 here: Miss Next Big Thing who's never heard from again. Look how Macy Gray imploded, after all.



They don't make divas like they used to, do they?!

[Nano]

Boodikka, it's strange from down here to see Thalia's name is known in NY! The short hottie is really more bedable than Mariah, IMHO (don't know about your tastes).

Did you guys hear "up there" about Gloria Trevi, the Mexican singer that was accused of child molestation and ended getting strangely pregnant in a Brazilian jail? It's not really "gossip" (it appears on Spanish newspapers from time to time) but it's really fun, and certainly would make a really bizarre biopic!

[Boodikka]

Hey, Thalia (The Mexican Mental Patient) and Mariah are both yummy, but far too loca (louca) to contemplate.

Gloria Trevi, and this whole BDSM scandal, are just too bizarre to be believed. I always thought that Gloria Trevi was some sort of space alien, now I am sure of it.

[HustleBaby]

On 2002-03-07 20:18, markydefad wrote:



Destiny's Child girls (the lighter skinned one other than Miss Beyonce) is forced to go to tanning salons to be darker-skinned-- so that Miss Beyonce Knowles (the Miss Ross of the group) will be the lightest/whitest looking of the trio. The girls are managed by Miss Beyonce's father and their grooming and wardrobe is by Beyonce's mama--so what THEY say "

Destiny's Drama seems to be continuing or in other words, a never-ending topic. Everything you've mentioned Marky is true but at the same time its screwed up how "Beyonce" is treated like the golden child!!!Former members of DC have quit (not fired) because they refused to take a back seat to Beyonce in talent and appearance. For a while, fans started to protest that they want to hear Kelly and Michelle sing or else their cd sales will drop, less patronizing of concerts etc... Speaking from a darker perspective, I'm sick and tired of the light damn near white entertainers recieving more and better attention! If Beyonce was darker skinned, MAYBE all of them would've had equal coverage. Unfortunately that is not the case! Beyonce gets the Cover-Girl ads, acting roles, solo tv interviews, sexiest clothing (her mama made sure of that), posters and magazine covers. I don't have a problem with Mama Knowles designing their clothes but she and Papa Knowles ain't sh*t! I don't listen to DC's music but I know that Kelly and Michelle is treated like the 5th and 6th Beatle! Did you know that they are thinking about renaming the group to "Beyonce & Destiny's Child"? All of this stardom drama definetely reminds me of Diana Ross & The Supremes.



*DELIGHTFUL*

[HustleBaby]

Speaking of Alicia Keys, I didn't hear the news about her refusing to perform at the Atlanta club until now. The only thing that I continue to hear is how she won more awards than she's worth. In other words, she ROBBED India Arie at the Grammy Award Show. Many people feel that she is "HIGHLY OVERRATED",recieves excessive coverage thanks to Clive Davis and her lighter/more marketable/widely acceptable image. Alicia maybe a talented pianist but I prefer Jill Scott's and Erykah Badu's songs any day. Also I feel that they would've cleaned up at the Grammys and other award shows but their look is TOO ethnic and Jill Scott plus Angie Stone are considered TOO fat for the music industry's image!! Well everyone here already knows that the music industry is F**KED UP so I don't need to go further!



*DISCO DELIGHT*

[Nano]

Boodikka, I have to recognize I kinda like Gloria Trevi, even with all this scandal... Not that she did right, but she always was the "rebel child" of Mexican pop industry on more ways than one.

Did you know one of her albums is called "More perturbed than ever"... Only that in Spanish, "more perturbed" sounds exactly like "masturbated"... What about THAT, Mrs. Ciccone?

About the baby thing, finally the ADN test says it's from her manager-husband. But the Brazilian press reports that apart from him, about 20 jail guards and policemen were ADN-tested just in case. Don't know how this is done, but I can't help but imagine the guys in their uniforms waiting behind a closed door to jerk off into a bottle... maybe looking at an old nude calendar of Miss Gloria on the wall? Too bizarre.

[markydefad]

Well tonight (Wednesday 3/13) the Fox network, that bastion of civilzed, stimulating programming is presenting it's Celebrity Boxing match pitting unconvicted killer Todd Bridges vs. white-rap joke Vanilla Ice (Robbie Van Winkle); angry Partridge Danny Bonaduce vs. bland Brady Barry Williams and my favorite twosome: trailer trash skater Tonya (where's my lead pipe) Harding & Republican Pinup Postergirl Paula Jones. Hey, if Tonya smashes Paula's Republican paid-for-nose, will the GOP pay for her reconstructive surgery? Yeah, fat chance I'll actually see her get that new "honker" bloodied--they'll probably make them wear protective gear.



My question--couldn't they get Gary Coleman to pummel Emmanuel Lewis for Big Bucks? Or Zelda Rubinstein to take on Mini-Me? Or Suzanne Sommers to duke it out with Joyce DeWitt?



Any other suggestions for must-see fisticuffs?

[Outsider]

On 2002-03-13 16:19, markydefad wrote:

Well tonight (Wednesday 3/13) the Fox network, that bastion of civilzed, stimulating programming is presenting it's Celebrity Boxing match pitting unconvicted killer Todd Bridges vs. white-rap joke Vanilla Ice (Robbie Van Winkle); angry Partridge Danny Bonaduce vs. bland Brady Barry Williams and my favorite twosome: trailer trash skater Tonya (where's my lead pipe) Harding & Republican Pinup Postergirl Paula Jones. Hey, if Tonya smashes Paula's Republican paid-for-nose, will the GOP pay for her reconstructive surgery? Yeah, fat chance I'll actually see her get that new "honker" bloodied--they'll probably make them wear protective gear.



My question--couldn't they get Gary Coleman to pummel Emmanuel Lewis for Big Bucks? Or Zelda Rubinstein to take on Mini-Me? Or Suzanne Sommers to duke it out with Joyce DeWitt?



Any other suggestions for must-see fisticuffs?

Could Fox get any more desperate for programming? And I thought that "Temptation Island" was a bad idea. I think I'll watch something else.