So what is the deal with Ibiza?

[JussiK]

Boodikka darling, I'm not wholly to blame. My faithful sidekick film critic disco book co-writer mate from London, who shall remain nameless, has introduced me to party hosts and sneaked me in to soirees where one can spot celebs snorting funny stuff up their noses and babble uncontrollably on subjects they should not be discussing in the presence of strangers. Just how careless some of those people are is unbeliveable. Wesley Snipes likes to throw his...ahem, what's the polite word in English, poo..? around during heated moments of passion - he told that he did that with Our Lady M. in a hotel room in Antibes some years ago. The wallpapers had to be changed after the pair had checked out.

The Nicole incidents are indeed well known, but what has not been confirmed is the rumour on many lips 6 years ago: Nicole was paid a million dollars a year if she stayed married to Tom plus a career - not that big an amount of money, actually, considering of what the stars earn, but she was then not the name she is today. Could this be true, who knows...

[DISCOBARRY]

I've seen tons of compilations referring to Ibiza such as "Ibiza Trance", "Ibiza Anthems", "Ibiza Club Hits", etc. Whether or not these songs are actually played in Ibiza nightclubs is questionable. A friend of mine bought an Ibiza compilation and it was terrible (bad house music). Apparently Paul Oakenfold used to go to Ibiza when he was younger and thought it was a hip place. Apparently he started the "baleric" sound back in the late 80's. Baleric meaning the Baleric Islands which Ibiza is part of (Mallorca being another). What I've read is that it's a pretty wild place, a real party island. Supposidly some of the world's best nightclubs are there.

[markydefad]

Hey Boodi,



Loved your gossipy tidbits of love Sappho style....Helen Hunt & Mandy Ingber????? We used to rep Mandy. I never heard that one.



So what's with Russell Crowe squiring all the ladies who love ladies? (Jodie, Nicole, etc.)

[Boodikka]

Hey Marky-Boo! Helen and Mandy haven't been exactly undercover since the Oscars, at least. Since the Huntswomans's disastrous nuptials with Hank Azaria went south, she's been taking a more Melissa Etheridge approach to life.....or at least a Kelly McGillis approach, if you get my drift.

As for Russell "The Thighmaster" Crowe taking on the Super-Beard duties in Hollywood, the Goddess Boodikka has no clue as to what up wit dat. Maybe L. Ron Hubbard, calling from beyond the grave, told the deep-pocketed Scientology types to make him the honorary "Beard For Life" for all the closeted Hollywood grrrls.....



_________________

I'm a goddess, I'm a hooker....I'm a blue movie....



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Boodikka on 2001-12-28 15:20 ]</font>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Boodikka on 2001-12-28 18:30 ]</font>

[markydefad]

Hey Jussi,



God, you've got some priceless tidbits, too.



Now, at the risk of getting too gross, maybe you should e-mail the answers to these questions, or, since you seemingly are fearless (Hear! Hear!)..feel free to respond here. Your choice.



Now, regarding Wesley...how exactly does the "poo" come into play during the passion?

And is that Miss M. you referred to now Mrs. Ritchie? I have some dirt on Wesley, myself, regarding a very famous actress that he hit upside the head and caused her to go deaf in one ear. She's mentioned the incident in print, but I've never seen the name of the culprit mentioned. And, amazingly enough, the very evening it happened, I was sitting not 3 feet away from him at Marix in West Hollywood. He was dining with another woman. When he came home to the Famous Actress's house, where he was staying, some sort of altercation erupted that sent her to the hospital for several days. His manager's response was "black women expect their men to hit 'em" and the manager is a black woman, I might add.



God, am I going to hell or what? Well, we'll have a big disco party down there. Jussi & Boodi, bring your records!!!!

[Boodikka]

Goddess Boodikka reporting from Hell, Seventh Level: Markey, m'love, I'll never mention out loud that the actress slapped around by the Bumpy Blade, old Wesley Snipes himself, was none other than HALLYBERRYHALLYBERRYHALLYBERRY.....oops, did I say the name? :grin:



Man, it's really @#$%in' HOT down here!

[JussiK]

On 2001-12-28 15:48, markydefad wrote:

Now, regarding Wesley...how exactly does the "poo" come into play during the passion?

And is that Miss M. you referred to now Mrs. Ritchie

Well, Marky; apparently some filthy rich people such as Mrs. Ritchie love to get down and dirty. There's an offical word to it: scatology. From scientology to scatology, look how low we have fallen in the subjects we discuss...And talking of Hell, do you get the cider ad there in which sexy seminaked demons in hell crack open a box full of cider bottles, and Karen Young's HOT SHOT suddenly blasts forth, sending all inferno into disco frenzy?! That's the party I hope we'll end up in.

[markydefad]

Well, Jussi & Boodi, I hate to see this thread die. I've never been more amused recently than by the Hollywood gossip you two seem to conjure up at your fingertips. Do you two write for tabloids somewhere? If so, I gotta subscribe.



Boodi, is the Halle Berry thing common knowledge these days? When it happened we were told to shut up...so I did, sorta. I mean this was years ago.



Jussi, I'm aware of scat queens...but Madonna??? Is is the Catholic guilt or what? I never would have dreamed that one up!!!



Let's make a pact to keep each other informed of the latest dirt on a more regular basis. Maybe a thread in the Non-disco Subject area???



And last, I guess hell for us would be either all the best records and no turntable or two turntables and nothing to spin. Or maybe just Limp Bizkit!

[markydefad]

Afterthought:



Maybe HELL, for me, is gonna be a Danny Tenaglia mix CD in constant repeat mode

[BrunoRepublic]

Hell for me? Oh geez, there's so many options...



- Celine Dion singing a non-stop medley of Christmas carols, and remixed by Tommy Musto (oh, the hundreds of times I suffered through that horrific dance mix of "Unison"... *shudder*)



- Perpetual Whitney Houston "Greatest Hits" CD



- Listening to CHUM-FM for eternity (think the same middle-of-the-road songs played 8 times a day, every day, for years at a time)



- Living in a world where the Sex Pistols are considered high art



- Violent thugs shouting out pornographic nursery rhymes over a collage of distorted samples of shoplifted records --- oh wait, I'm thinking of reality now...

[markydefad]

Graham,



Seeing how much you detest the Drama Divas of the past decade, I'd be interested in your ranking of their worst product.



Given the choice of being forced to listen to Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton (Un-burn My Toast), or fill in the blank---who would be the most torture? What would be their absolute worst song? What song could you most tolerate? And, lastly, rank the Divas in order of your intolerance.



Now I expect the relentless viciousness and evil humor I know only you can supply.



C'mon-- "Do do that voodoo that you do so well"

[Boodikka]

Boodikka's Disco Hell: listening to an endless loop of the chorus from Salsoul Orchestra's "We Wish You A Merry Christmas", the one with the screechy, off-key vocals.....I wouldn't slash my wrists, i would lop off my ears, a la Van Gogh.....



_________________

I'm a goddess, I'm a hooker....I'm a blue movie....

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Boodikka on 2002-01-03 23:21 ]</font>

[Boodikka]

Marky, the Halley Berry incident is fairly well-known here....Flo Anthony did a blind item on it, but the blind item was more like vision-impaired, if you follow me.

[markydefad]

Boodi,



I didn't know Denis/Denyse Lepage sang "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" for the Salsoul Orchestra!

[BrunoRepublic]

Given the choice of being forced to listen to Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton (Un-burn My Toast), or fill in the blank---who would be the most torture?

Oh gawd... Mariah has the most irritating vocal stylings; she's the ultimate "shrieky diva" as I call them. It frightens me that so many people equate an large vocal range with being a good singer, when she provides such irrefutable proof that it doesn't. Whitney irritates the hell out of me too, but I could tolerate her if she didn't sing such horrid songs ("It's not right/but it's so gay/we're gonna dance to Whitney every day"). Besides I get a lot of entertainment out of her -- not from her music, but from her amusing exploits which provide endless fodder for the tabloids. She must get some sort of kickback from them, given that her antics sell so many papers. Toni Braxton is probably the most ignorable of the bunch. As for Celine... welllll....



Here in Canada, the CRTC dictates that radio stations must play a certain percentage of "Canadian content". The idea was to help promote Canadian artists. What used to happen was that mediocre Canadian artists got promotion that they didn't really deserve. In today's monoculture™, it means that the few Canadian artists who have succeeded on an international level get their material played to death. So I get subjected to far more Celine, Bryan, and Barenaked than anyone who isn't part of the Taliban deserves to.



The way she proudly displays her husband (ewww) is truly nauseating. But her SHREEEEEKy voice drives me up the wall. Microphone feedback, electronic fire alarms, the metallic squeal of the subway cars as they make that tight curve around Union station... none of these things compare to the aural devastation of Celine. Once again, people have latched on to the concept that being able to shatter reinforced concrete with one's vocal cords makes one a good singer. It's funny... I remember when her version of Eric Carmen's "All By Myself" came out. Such a beautiful song, yet both Celine and Eric performed it so badly... yet they performed it in two completely different awful ways. Anyway, my fluffy friends of the time sat back and listened, enrapt in her sonic assault on the stereo. We got to the point near the end of the song, where her voice goes up about 4 octaves as she wails "all by mySEEEEEEEELLLF!!!". I felt my strength drop, and I think I saw the cat bolt for the door before my eyes lost focus and I slipped into unconsciousness. The last thing I remember was one of my friends gleefully saying "Ooh, belt it out, Celine!".



But this alone is not the reason why Celine remains the grand master of my pet hate list. Flashback to 1990 - 1992. I was young, I still had hair, and had just discovered clubbing. For a brief time in my life, I was full of hope and optimism, and had found what was my place (or so I thought). I was going out every single weekend, having the time of life... except for this...



The song was called "Unison". The album version was a fairly forgettable track, which did not stand out in any way from the rest of the blandfill that you get on easy rock stations. However, like many songs, the record company decided to make a dance version. And so, some fool by the name of Tommy Musto, took this song, and went and made the most terrifyingly awful remix I've ever heard. It had every excess of early 90s dance music -- the repetitive cheesy synth riff, the orchestra hits, the mechanical drum patterns, and of course, the ridiculous rap. Yes, that's right -- a rap in a Celine Dion song. Just try to imagine the horror.



This in itself was worrisome enough. But what happened was truly apocalyptic. For you see, every single gay club in Toronto played this sonic monstrousity every single night for the next two years. This is not an exaggeration. I went out every single weekend, usually both Friday and Saturday, and I had to endure it every time. I know this, because for months I prayed that just once, I wouldn't have to hear it if I stayed more than an hour. But my hopes were in vain.



Yet the automaton fags around me just couldn't get enough of it. With just the first machine-gun-like drum riff, they would all rush to the dance floor, as if it was an interstellar calling that their souls were programmed to resonate to. They were all oblivious to how utterly asinine the whole thing was.



I'm not sure, but I think that it actually wasn't originally released commercially at the time. The practice of not releasing the most popular version of a song was very common back then -- N-Joi's "Anthem" and anything by Blackbox being other examples. So, the only place you *could* hear it was a club. Anyway, DJs loved this, as all they had to do was be in the right pool to get the records, and the crowds would love them just for playing them.



And it just wouldn't go away. One club had an even-more exclusive version with an extra 45 seconds of torture. No DJ would ever cut it short; they would all play it right through. And just when it seemed that it might be fading away, as DJs pulled it out either early or late in their set, Celine released a new album. And one of the singles featured the Tommy Musto remix of Unison as a bonus track... and it was happening all over again.

What would be their absolute worst song?

As above, the Tommy Musto remix of "Unison". Hands down. If that's too old (it was over 10 years ago after all), then that absolutely inane "Hit Him Up Style" track that's all over the radio like bear roadkill.

What song could you most tolerate?

I'd say Madonna's "Music" (first song by her I actually like)... but then, not even Madonna's biggest fans would consider her a "diva", now would they?

Now I expect the relentless viciousness and evil humor I know only you can supply.

You do know that people are encouraging me to get therapy because of this, don't you?